You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Can there by anything more annoying than the dysfunctional wankers who insist on peppering every conversation with witless catchphrases coined by someone else?

'Where are you going on Saturday?' 'I'm not sure, as it is only Monday'. 'Do you want to phone a friend?' No, fuck off, I do not.

Oh and how we laugh at the office wit who prefaces every demand for PG Tips by saying: 'Give us a T Bob'. No, but you can have a pound of semtex up your arse if you like.

People who snap their fingers and say 'Respec' should have the offending digits chopped off and thrust down their throats.

'I've started so I'll finish' No. You've started and therefore you won't live until the end of the sentence.

'Don't mention the war' Don't mention anything, ever again.

But if it wasn't for these mindless morons without an original thought in their bodies, then there wouldn't have been anyone to buy those hilariously comic red noses to fix to the front of their cars.

'Ave it.' As David Beckham would say.

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ELECTRO-CUTE - click to enlarge