It's all Greek to me

Yesterday being the eve of Euro 2004 I decided to blog about football. And given that the tournament is in Portugal I thought, having written my piece, I would translate it into Portuguese using the clever tools at Google.

This morning it occurred to me that nobody would have a clue what I was talking about, apart from the odd Portuguese blog-surfer.

So back to Google with yesterday's Portuguese post to translate it back into English.

Simple. Except this is what I got:

"Hurrah, footie starts tomorrow. A time that we classify for is of the monkeys of the surrender cheese-to eat, we is going to make jellyfishes is of its men Portuguese de Guerra. Eusebio, Rui Coast, Fig, Vasco de Gama, Carmen Miranda, Pope John XXI, its boys we are going to make examination of a hell of a stroke. ih! the ' o aue ai ' '"

I'm not sure that's what I wrote word for word but let's not split hairs.

Anyway I've been wrestling with a bigger problem today. I MIGHT BE PREGNANT.

There are a number of reasons this worries me, not least because I'm not a woman.

So why the concern? The bacon sandwiches. At about 11.00 today I craved a bacon sandwich. I don't mean wanted, I don't mean fancied, I don't mean desired, I don't mean needed. I mean craved.

I would have done anything for a bacon sandwich. Murder, robbery, a video re-run of 'Who wants to be a millionaire?', absolutely anything. Fortunately all I had to do was cook it.

It was lovely and my craving was satisfied.

Just to make sure, 30 seconds ago I used one of the Pirahna's 'Clear Blue Easy One Minute Pregnancy Tests':


30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..............


... you will pleased to hear, I'm not expecting.