Thursday, August 19, 2004

A man of few words

I've always been a great admirer of my work. I've also been quite of a loner. I suspect the two things may be connected.

But what I like about my work, is that there isn't much of it. I can say anything I want about anything I know about, in less than 250 words.

Lots of blogs I like have lots of words. But there is nothing on earth I want to spend more than 250 words talking about. That either makes me very shallow or other people very verbose.

The whole point of this piece was that I could wrap it up in 249 words with a very pithy and humorous ccomment. Unfortunately I don't even have that much to say.

Silence is golden

I haven't updated this blog for a week and my visitors have gone up! How depressing is that. The less I write, the more people want to read it.

The sparsity of my words has been because I decided instead of blogging every day, I would only blog when I had something interesting to say. Then I realised I had stopped blogging...

Well good to speak to you again,... of course now no-one is listening.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Poetry in e-motion...

Had a brilliant idea today. I'm going to write a rhyming dictionary. It would make every would-be poet's life a doddle.

The only problem would be deciding who would be Poet Laureate, because we would all be able to rhyme anything with anything, well at least anything with many a thing.

Then when I thought about it a bit more I realised just how thick the rhyming dictionary would have to be. Every word, apart of course from orange, rhymes with about 2 million other words.

So, and here's the clever part, I thought I'd do it on the Internet. I'd make a website where you type in a word and it gives you everything else that rhymes with it.

A slight flaw in my strategy was discovered when I put rhyme dictionary into Google and it returned about 130,000 results.

Oh ducking spell.

I've consoled myself by coming up with with an Ian Duryesque little ditty, using these excellent tools, entitled 'Frigid hairy Mandy and my modus operandi'.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Yog that hurt...

Hope I've never eaten anything from here, even strawberry flavour...

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Cut throat razor wars

Where will the battle of the razors end?

First came the original single blade razor that you threw away when it became blunt. A revolution in its own way.

Then some bright spark thought it would be a really rather clever idea to add another blade, to make the first double bladed disposable razor.

But did the competitition rest on their laurels. Not for one moment. These boys are as sharp, as well, a razor and some genius came up with the triple blade disposable.

In ten years time we will all be using razors the size of brooms with a dozen super sharp blades. Forget a close shave; one confident stroke, and half your face will come off. That's progress.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Oo la la!

The most popular Google search in France in June last year was for 'nice people'.

Now I know the old grenouilles aren't everyone's cup of tea but it comes to something if they have to resort to using a search engine to find a countryman they like.