Sunday, June 13, 2004

Dan's destiny is in your hands




Like all bloggers I am an attention seeker at heart. Unfortunately I am not a patient attention seeker. After three weeks of writing a blog, I haven't received nearly as much attention as I would like and that is where Dan comes in.

Dan, as you can see is a duck. He is a duck who belongs to my four year old daughter Zoe and he is her favourite toy.

Right now, Zoe thinks she has lost Dan. She hasn't. I have kidnapped him and he is going to to die the death of a thousand cuts.

Every day Dan is going to receive a horrible wound or disfigurement, unless I have had more than 100 visitors to my blog that day, or a new inbound link. I will return Dan, or what is left of him, to Zoe at the end of August.

The highest number of visitors I have received in a day so far is 84 and the lowest number is 0, so I reckon Dan has a slow and painful death in store.

Only you can save him.

13 comments:

Gideon said...

I shall do my best to save your daughters duck by listing you on blogwise.com!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Gideon but you alone are not enough.

Anonymous said...

Yipe! You sure are one sick little puppy...

Anonymous said...

Can I have the head?

Anonymous said...

*calls Childline on behalf of Zoe*

Anonymous said...

Noooo! Can't you just trim the loops on the dressing gown?

Anonymous said...

How can you do such a thing to a poor defenceless toy duck? As someone who suffered from a ducknapping first hand, I have experienced the mental anguish caused from the ideal. It's given me lots of material to discuss with my psychiatrist when I finally get one :)

BTW, I've linked to this posting from my own blog.
Cliky hereDon't do it man!
Croz

Anonymous said...

Have mercy on the poor ducky! Please!

Joanna xxx

Shelley said...

This was good for a chuckle.

What you need to do is wrap the duck in an American Flag and then mention at a popular political weblog to save Dan the American Duck. Should have plenty of visitors then.

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Well, I can't remember what age I was when my father stole my favourite toy and told me the fairies had taken him, but I was old enough to a) not believe him, and b) remember it for life. I never trusted him again. It caused a huge emotional rift between us which lasts to this day. He's a good man, but I don't think I'll cry at his funeral.

Having second thoughts yet?

Happy Jack

www.20six.co.uk/HappyJack

Spluttermonkey said...

No, the duck IS going to suffer.

Anonymous said...

my mother stole one of my toys once, and made a dress for it. Now I have a bear in a beautiful wedding dress, this is unfortunate because in my mind the bear was, and still is a boy. this has not messed me up at all.....

shameful self advertisement to follow

http://www.20six.co.uk/heathenbunny

Anonymous said...

ur a rite jack ass. Poor child to have such a mental da.
:P

Fiona McCann
20six