Losing your bottle

I bought an Oasis fruit drink today. For 15 minutes I considered what sort of specialist equipment I should hire in order to open it: a chainsaw, an oxyacetylene torch, nitroglycerine or maybe an industrial wrench.

Then I decided I would clamp the bottle into a vice and tie a chain around the bottle top and attach it to my car. Driving away at high speed would inevitably open the bottle although admittedly some of the contents might be lost.

It was only then that I noticed the words on the top: 'opens by hand'. How unusual I thought, so I unscrewed the top and drank it.

It was foul.