Stuart Rose the new head honcho of Marks and Spencer has revalued the company's property portfolio. Yesterday it was worth £2.2bn now it is worth £3.3bn, according to Mr Rose.
I have decided to follow his lead and revalue my own property portfolio.
My two-bedroomed semi in the suburbs is now revalued as a five-bedroomed townhouse mansion.
My garden and fishpond are now revalued as a 1,000 acre estate of rolling parkland complete with a well-stocked trout lake, and my shed is now revalued as a luxury single storey, Scandinavian-style timber dwelling in the grounds.
With my new found wealth I'm off for La Derniere Gourmandise de Louis XVI, Confit Fillet and Belly of Lincolnshire Pork, Parsleyed Flageolet Beans and Spring Cabbage or I will just as soon as the bar menu is revalued at my local.