Sunday, September 12, 2004

Keeping the Olumpic flame burning

What is the point of the Paralympics? It's a competition for people who can't run as fast, jump as high, or throw things as far as other people.

And before the PC brigade start flaming me or sending me foetuses through the post consider this:

Can you imagine having a Mastermind competition for people with an IQ of less than a 100. Questionmaster: 'What is your specialist subject?' Contestant:'Pass'.

Can you imagine the announcement: 'Tonight on Sky Sports 24 there is a head to head football encounter between Jewsons (Romford) X1 and Bigglesmith Reserves.

People who are shit at something may enjoy it but why should anyone else be interested?

Everyone wants their day in the sun and in the interest of fairness and non-discrimination I would like to suggest the Olumpics, a multi-displine event for the over 20 stoners.

Just imagine the spectacle as 12 jelly monsters, sweating profusely, struggle to complete the marathon, otherwise known as the 100 metre sprint. And the diving events would be a must for all sports fans.

If someone doesn't stop this insanity we're all going to end up watching David Beckham finding the meaning of life and Stephen Hawking winning the high jump.


Anonymous said...

I can't help but think you've completely missed the point.

Anonymous said...

I too have completely missed the point. What is it.

j said...

i think the long jump record is 2 and a half feet. apparently it would have been further but the guy stopped mid way through his run to the sand pit to wave to a pigeon.

do they say 'all stand for the national anthem except lose in wheel chairs, one legged people who have lost their fake leg, and those who can not understand me'

i got your point mate and i fucking loved every minute of it.